SERIES 31.
Updated 14th February 2010
Relive those distant memories.
Here's one from Roger Bond - 21st April 2008
I was browsing the site today when I came across the item, “Can you remember our Collingwood instructors?” I remember EA Dunstan very well, even as radio specialists we came across him.
I particularly remember his disdain for the trendy gear we used to wear ashore in those fashion conscious days which he referred to as “drainpipe trousers and elastic sided goblin boots.”
This may be one for your down memory lane list which was brought to mind by Lt Cdr Bob Chippendale who taught us basic radio theory. He was a real gent and was affectionately referred to as “Chips”
Back in 1959 there was a great divide between the wardroom and the lower deck which extended on to the sports field. Thanks to the encouragement of “Chips”, I became the first lower-decker to play hockey
for HMS Collingwood. One particular weekend I was selected to play against Bournemouth H.C. away. A fraught visit to Cdr Apps requestmen resulted in my being permitted to wear civvies so that I could take
part in the after match proceedings. I subsequently turned up at Howe gym at 12 pm on Saturday and climbed aboard a 41-seater coach. The duty PTI came on board to check the team and announced that
Lt Cdr so and so was going by car, Cdr so and so was taking Lt Cdr “X” and so on. I was whisked off to the match in my own 41-seater accompanied only by the team kit bag. After the match the team captain
approached me and said “Ah, young Bond, we are stopping at the Coach and Horses for a beer, please feel at home to come and join us.” Half an hour later we pulled into the pub car park only to be told,
“Sorry mate, no coaches allowed in here.” Some things never change.
However, I persevered and thanks to the efforts of people like Bob Chippendale, these barriers were slowly dismantled and it led me on to a wonderful hockey career representing both the Navy and Combined
Services in Singapore and other exotic places. (Even Portsmouth!)
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From David Phillips,
12th April 2008
Can You Remember Our Collingwood Instructors?
Some had little idiosyncrasies, peculiar names, odd habits or views that made them memorable.
I will name a few that stick in my cranium for above reasons but perhaps you can add to these.
EA Dunstan
Affectionately called ‘Saggy’. He took us for Flyplane 5 Fire Control System which I’m sure you’ll remember as our 9 or 10 Class ‘Perisher’. Fly 5 incorporated such things as AFCB10, GRUS, Tracker, Predictor, Director and all that stuff. Recall there was a bit of a blow-up as some one in our lot trashed the Magnetron which I think was somewhere in the Director.
‘Saggys’ sex tales were only interrupted by his need to complete our course material. He sat on his Lambretta Scooter like a bear and lived in
Lt Lillicrap
Taught the electrical experimental course work required by for ONC qualification. He had the appearance of a Spanish national. Always thought his surname was a contradiction in terms but I have seen it elsewhere of late. Nice bloke but very serious about the practical experiments and our reporting on same.
Lt Cdr Cook
This popular schoolie was Duty Lt Cdr when the Fisher Apps rebelled and Collingwood called out the ‘Riot–Squad’ from RN Barracks,
Captain of Collingwood punished the whole of Fisher Section (from Cdr Apps down) with early morning runs which were routed out through the main gate and round the playing fields and back to the Main Parade Ground.
Some of the senior officers’ lily-white legs protruding from their long lost rugger shorts was a sight to behold.
Lt Cdr (sounds something like Udal)
Small in stature, with a real dry wit. He strongly advised us, when married, to get ourselves out quietly without waking the wife. More trouble than it was worth he opined. He also expressed the benefits of having a ‘poison’ sector in our gardens at home where we could retreat and relax when our families visited with the grandchildren. - His wife would never allow the children into his sanctuary of poison plants whether he was there or not! – A little weird but the man was very funny. Hope some of you can remember his name.
Gyros’ - Civilian Instructor
Cannot remember his name. He frequently referred to Gyros’ Headquarters (
30th June
To view the original class lists (hand-written!) CLICK HERE
13th July
Here's a good one from Michael Field
One day, walking (sorry "marching") across the parade ground I bumped in to Ced Fray on his way to catch the ferry to HMS Dolphin. He advised me that I was probably one of the last S31 EA's still in General Service - my days must be numbered. Not me said I!! A few days later the dreaded draft chit arrived.
Well, I had been virtually deaf in one ear from a wee lad but when I had my selection medical in Pompey barracks the doctor ignored it as "I was so keen to join".
Now was the time to use it. "Can't go in subs Chief, I've got a dodgy ear".
I was sent to RNH Haslar where they decided that my ear was acceptable but that my nose was blocked and should be cleared - a sweet souvenir of New Entry Boxing? Anyway, I was admitted and operated on. For a few days after I could not understand why the nurses would snigger as they passed my bed. Then someone showed me a mirror. The surgeon, in his wisdom, had packed my nose with wadding to hold the shape and then, to keep it all in, put a sanitary towel over my nose and put the loops around my ears!! Just shows that our ears did more than just keep our caps out of our eyes.
All I gained from all this was a six months deferment for the Submarine Service - Ced was right, I did go down under the sea in boats!
17th May
Here's one submitted by John Apps today. (2nd Edition!)
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Presiding over West side at Religious Instruction in the Chapel was the Padre - Reverend Gover, who bore a striking resemblance to Archbishop Makarios. As another former apprentice described him – ‘he scared us witless’.
John Apps was sitting bolt upright trying not to move his boots over the polished floor and so producing a squeak. (Instant punishment)
The Padre commanded the central aisle, paced up and down then posed a question. For effect there was a pause, during which everyone feared that his name would be called to answer. In this case the name called was ‘Quayle’ – no one answered, no one moved. The Padre looked at the chosen apprentice with his withering stare but all in his line of sight avoided eye contact. ‘Stand up Quayle’ he hissed with a hint of anger in his voice – he was not used to disobedience and this apprentice was committing a cardinal sin.
The Padre move closer to his victim and John Apps then realised eye contact was inevitable. ‘Why did you not stand up boy’ he demanded? John Apps felt his colour rising, how could he answer? Should he tell the man who was never wrong that he was not App Quayle? ‘I’m not Quayle’ he blurted out. The Padre’s breath on his face was unpleasant – ‘what’s your name boy’ Then came the answer that compounded the felony - ‘App Apps’
The Reverend Gover was not amused and John Apps never did find out if he had a doppelganger!
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Here's one of mine:
After a late night, followed by a boring day in the classroom at Daedalus, I fell asleep on my pit, (probably about 4pm), still in No 8's.
I woke later with a start,looked at my watch which said 7.15. No-one else was in the mess, and I thought I'd slept in, and was late for work. Dashing to the dining hall (for breakfast) I was confronted by the Duty Chief, who gruffly asked 'Why the Hell have you come to SUPPER in No 8's!'
Quick as a flash I replied 'Cos I'm hungry Chief!'.... He was not amused and I got a couple of days 9's!
Happy days!
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